not sure if you remember me. Our situations were similar. I haven't posted in months, but I would stop in from time to time to see your status. I was hoping for your success, but I must admit, I gave you a 20% chance....
I too had enough around christmas time and started the divorce process. What has happened since then:
I bought my wife out of our house, gave her half the equity. She wanted out, I wasn't moving.
She bought her own house a half mile away. She moves out on May 21st. Looking forward to it, but will miss my sons..
Custody: I have our boys every saturday, sunday and monday. Wasn't going to do this if I didn't have my 3 sons close to 50% of the time.
Try to get as much handled between you and your wife before the lawyers get involved. I am already 12k into this(6k for me, 6k for her). And most of the negotiation has been between my W and I(custody, vacations, holidays, etc..)
Last thing we really need to negotiate is my pension, 401k, alimony(maintenance).
Rise above it all, it will get nasty...The hatred and disdain for her is still there. It will subside over time, I am sure. But for my sons, I have risen above it all. Even though she is out most weekends till 3am with god knows who..
I act as happy as I can be when I am home. Your kids can pick up on everything. Don't fight at home..That is the part that hurts them most. We told them about a month ago. They are doing ok--it is a concept to them now, reality comes in another couple weeks.
Remember, right now it is about them, not you. I see your mind is on the dating piece already..You need to be there for them now. That adds an extra headache that you don't need right now. The best advice anyone has gave me is, "I you are ok, your kids will be ok." So far that hasn't failed me.
Forget trying to figure her out. You won't. I married a nut, so did you. It is what it is. Time to move on....
Good luck...
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
