I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

Hey guys,

As I thought, getting on and writing that out helped me so much!

I ended up sucking it up and enjoying the rest of my day. H came back with gifts "from the kids" I was peeved at the timeliness, but whatever. my MIL is in town and is so disguted with his behavior that she let him have it. Although I told her not to. but whatever.. Anyways.. we had been invited to his uncle's for a MD party so I decided to go anyway.

He and I did speak on the phone prior and apparently he had been upset with me over a comment I made to him the previous night (stupid me had a few drinks.. DUMB I know.. Had I been sober (I wasn't drunk BTW), I would have bitten my tongue. I made a comment about him being cool guy. It was really stupid but it ticked him off..

Only his mother, sister that were there know of our sitch and would you know it that his aunt brought family DVDs with pictures and video montages on it. Of course, we were on it.. our dating years, parties at our house, when we had our first baby, our wedding, rehearsal dinner, vacations, etc. I shed a few tears. (so was everyone else because there were also pics of a few recently deceased family members) I caught him looking at me with this sort of smile on his face or whatever.. Later on that night he did say that he missed those days and that they were the good old days...

I have done alot of thinking and my H has always been sarcastic, a ballbuster, and cocky.. and I think that I'm taking things too personal. Because of my insecurities, I internalize and take everything personal. I think that's my problem. of course, it's normal to feel that way.. I understand that.. But before all of this happened between us, I feel as though I had more of a sense of humor.. now, it's like I take it to heart...

hmmmmm

hugs to all!