I`d be stuck with a M where I have no reasonable expectation of getting my needs met.
Looking at what you wrote about no expectations and your choice of a H who liked no expectations, I can only ask are your "needs" reasonable for this M to survive, and do you not have to change to no expectations again if your M fails. Why not change before your marriage ends. Your H liked the fact that you were independent, self sufficient person. He still more than likely wants that.
Now he could be in MLC which might mean that no changes that you make will change his mind, however your actions in all of this might make a difference.
If I am out to lunch on this feel free to correct me.
