There's a link up there ^^ to my first original post that has more details, but basically we've been together three years and sex and intimacy has been very seldom since the beginning, about once a month. It has always been frustrating, but usually just enough to make it worth it.
But lately, the last four months or so, he has been very very distant. It's true he is depressed lately, and he goes through this every once in a while. He has an appointment with a therapist on Thursday, which is a big step for him.
I'm not going to cheat. I feel like I'm more likely just to shut off my feelings for him and leave. All the love and affection just bounces off him and falls on the floor. I'm getting to the point where I have very little love left for him and I just want to leave.
Sexual frustration is only a small part of it. I don't need that much sex. My vibrator does not hug and kiss me and make me feel appreciated either. Hugs from friends just make me feel better about leaving because I'll have support.
GAL is making me happier, but it also makes me feel more empowered to leave.
I went dancing last night, which really boosted my confidence because there was no shortage of men giving me attention. I actually felt like a hot chick, even though I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. For the past 3 years I have felt ugly, boring, fat and ignored.
I know I didn't do anything wrong. Just some innocent dancing and talking to guys I didn't find particularly attractive. No phone numbers or even flirting. But I still feel guilty for letting other men boost my ego.
Came home and went to bed next to H. He doesn't even cuddle anymore. I got a peck on the cheek this morning.
Why is he even still with me? I have given him every opportunity to leave if he doesn't love me anymore, but he always asks me to stay and stick it out until things get better. I feel like he is using me for my money and my car.
