I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

I feel defeated.

These two months have been a battle

WAW Infidelity, an std, toxic arguments, with Mling, dates, and long conversations.

Disabilities, crazy situations, a life without the children.

All of this is too much. I wish I could just crawl under and rock and sleep. I hate living. I wake up everyday feeling like I have no control over who I am anymore.

I do things and dont understand why. I cannot deal with all the thoughts and emotions I'm feeling.

I feel overwhelmed. I feel lost. I'm in a daze. I wonder why God wakes me up everyday.

My goals seem so far away. My family seems lightyears away. It's like being on the otherside of jail bars talking to them on the phone but never being able to see or touch them.

Then eventually nobody comes. I really hate life. I don't enjoy it. The only thing that made dealing with all of the bs of this world was my family. It motivated me. It made me want to get up and fight.

I just really am tired.