Hmmm...I have read a bit of your sitch. And although I am new to these boards...my sitch has been going on since Nov 09. I started off with the very same attitude that you have. It got me nowhere....and we have 3 kids to boot. So not only was it me that he was abandoning...it was his children, our 2 dogs, our home, etc. I was VERY bitter. The second I let go and humbled myself is when we could finally stop arguing and have a normal conversation. The second I realized that perhaps his actions weren't the best ones to take, and that I have made my fair share of mistakes I could begin to let go. I have learned a lot.....and basically it all boils down to the fact that YOU are the only person that you have control over....Blame is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. Regardless of what your husband has done to you....until you really discover WHY he is feeling the way he feels...and how this relates to you...nothing will get better....or at best you will put a bandaid on it.

Please don't take me the wrong way. Because I have been right there where you are. Full of anger, hatred, and thinking that I was nothing but a big ball of love for my H...all the while wondering why he could not see that!! smile Sooo....realize that this anger is part of the greif that you will experience through this process, but if you really want to save your marriage, really think about you. Honestly....put yourself in his shoes....is he stressed?....perhaps even take it a bit further....would YOU want YOU for a wife? If so, why? If not, why not? No one is perfect, not your H, not my H, not you, and certainly not me. But it took months to really humble myself and realize my shortcomings. Although my H has things he needs to deal with...that is not my concern....because HE has to deal with that. All I can do is focus on me, and on being the best mother and wife I can be....with or without his presence.