Something I heard from a very spiritual man and have taken it to heart and try and live by it...
A smart person learns from their mistakes A wise person learns from the mistakes of others
Something more to consider...
(a regret I will always live with)
This jumped out at me, not because it was in () but because I get the sense that in your own stubborness (not being judgemental because heaven knows I can be also...this is just an observation of what I am reading from you)sometimes you will stand your ground even though your gut is telling you otherwise...
You have stated several times that you felt H was your soulmate...that you asked him to leave and now feel that was a mistake...that he also felt the two of you were destined to be together...so I have to ask...WHY?
Why are you leaving the door closed on him, why haven't you extended your hand to him, why are you leaving him with a woman that he had already ended things with before you found out and that he isn't even sure he loves???
I don't know your spiritual adviser...I can agree that a person needs time...sometimes they need to be left alone...but when someone is suffering in a crisis and depressed cutting them off and letting them go is not the course I would take (I am a very spiritual person, btw)...if someone is in quicksand because they were pushed into it would you not help them out? Your husband didn't want to leave the home...he had ended it with the OW...yet, you pushed him out the door and in his state of mind he went to the only other thing he knew to help him...OW
Now I am not saying it is your fault he is with her...he made that choice...he had the A with her...but I believe he needs rescuing...not that you have to bring him home...he may very well need time to heal...but be his friend, talk to him, let him know that you are not going to divorce him again, let him know that you have the ability to forgive him and the desire to rebuild a better relationship with him...
If not...well then I think you have written a self fulfilling prophecy for yourself...(a regret I will always live with)
Also take a moment and read your signature line...it speaks volumes...maybe it is time to break the silence! Lin
