Hey girls. No, he cant change jobs, there is only one company he can work for! (He's a geologist). I wouldnt ask him to though. Plus he was totally cool with me 'snooping' and has said I can look at his phone/email anytime (I stressed that I dont normally). He told me how little he cares about her and that he moved on, long ago. He's done feeling guilty for hurting her, he doesnt feel he needs to anymore. He carries enough guilt for hurting me.
I asked him some more questions about why he left. He said "you werent being very nice to me".. I got VERY upset at this, as I was devoted and very caring to him!! He explained, I felt like you never listened, that my opinion didnt matter, that you would overrule me, particularly financially. My communication was too strong and I didnt allow him be the man and make decisions, I used to listen without actively listening. I am not like that now.
I reminded him that when I realised this, I DID change, spent months being more equal, loving and he still left. He agreed and said but he had 'gone in on himself' and depressed by then and he was at fault for not talking to me, but bottling it all up till he 'snapped'. So, blame on both sides and typical WAS, he concealed how unhappy he was until it was too late. But that mainly, he felt that he had had a breakdown.
I am drivng his Mum to hospital today for heart surgery.. fingers crossed that goes well !!
