I talked with H about getting a set schedule a couple of weeks ago and I think that is why I was surprised when he called Friday to ask about seeing the kids since he had them last weekend...
If I talk to him about the kids being hurt and disappointed and ask that he call them in between visits, isn't that controlling?
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Had a wonderful day today with the kids! Went to see Nick Vujicic, the Life Without Limbs speaker...what an inspiration! He talked about accepting God into our hearts and trusting him. He said that when he was a kid, he would pray ask God to give him the miracle of having arms and legs and after awhile, he realized that he was not going to get that miracle so he started asking God to change what was in his heart and to help him totally trust in what God had in store for him...really amazing stuff!
My DIL took pics of my kids and had them put on a insulated coffee mug! I loved it!
Hope everyone else is having a good day too!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I don't think that telling your H that the kids miss him is controlling. SOmething like this maybe?:
"I was wondering if we could set up a schedule for you to visit the kids. They really look forward to seeing you and get so excited! It would help them to know when they would get to see you next. Also... I don't mean this to come across wrong, but I have to honestly tell you that they miss you and are disappointed when you don't show up when you say you will."
Okay that was really rough and there has to be a way to sandwich the negative final sentence in the middle somewhere or reword it even?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I was thinking that maybe I should ask him if I misunderstood our conversation, tell him that I was under the impression that he was going to call the kids Sat a.m. and that I had told them that and they were disappointed when he didn't call and then talk again about a set schedule. What do you think?
On a side note...my DIL did a google search and found out that OW's father was only 4yrs older than my H....eeewww!!! She could be his daughter....yuck!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
EWWWW about the OW and age difference with your H!!! But I am not surprised in a way and bet that there is some hang up with her dad...I wonder how often it is the case for OWs.
Anyway your idea of bringing up the schedule sounds perfect! We know how to talk to our H's best--how they will receive info best!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Thanks NM! I just don't want to sound controlling!
Forgot to mention that it was OW's Dad's obituary DIL found...he apparently died at the age of 47 in 2002. It mentions in it that he liked to camp and fish with his family (that is something WE did) and also that he raised quarter horses (which my H has always had disdain for horse people...idk why...)
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
On a side note...my DIL did a google search and found out that OW's father was only 4yrs older than my H....eeewww!!! She could be his daughter....yuck!
OW is 2 months YOUNGER than DSD35! (H's daughter)
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
One of a thousand reasons: She likes to go to bars and drink til she's drunk. H falls asleep before he gets drunk!
H has always gotten off on being a mentor. This will get old.
Even the 9 year difference between us was difficult sometimes. Different high school/college experiences with different music, movies and world events. I can't imagine being with someone my dad's age OR even my DSS's age (32) Ewww Must be the funhouse mirror...but eventually the fair moves on to another town. lol
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
