Year One (Three months after the bomb, divorce proceeding)
Cried, was angry and upset at divorcing spouse for destroying Mother's Day, that it was his job to motivate the kids, to show me recognition, to plan the day.
Year Two (Four months after the divorce was completed)
Told kids I wanted cards from them. Received three great cards with personal thoughts written. My mom and brother both sent me cards, too. Felt a feeling of gratitude for what the kids did. Felt blessed. And touched and happy about the cards from family.
Year Three (One year and four months since divorce finalized)
Oldest son who moved out kept calling me until he caught up with me. Had a nice chat. Chose not to be suspicious about 'car problems'. Was grateful for what he gave.
Second son drove home from school (90 minutes) Saturday. The three of us, him, my daughter and I, went to dinner at a great place (I paid by choice because being together was what was important). Spent time alone with him listening to how he was handling things, told him how proud I was of him in how mature and responsible he was.
He gave me the most beautiful card saying all those things.. how great I was, that I was always there for him, that if I needed anything he was only a hoot and a holler away.. went on and on. I cried and kept hugging him. His girlfriend even gave me one, addressed to Mama Gypsy with sweet sentiments. My son said.. "You are not alone, Mom. You are not alone." I was touched beyond words.
My 15 year old daughter had to be nudged into making a card, thought Mother's Day obligations were over with the dinner the previous evening. Eventually got into the swing of things. She has gotten used to the world revolving around her.
This morning (after they brought back breakfast and munchkins) we went and cleared out overgrowth that mucked up the look of the yard along with a billion little seedlings from fertile acorns.
So, the upside of the divorce is that the kids are what make Mother's Day meaningful. That I'm grateful for what they give.. because it's their choice. If it's minimal I accept it is to the best of their ability. And being a Mom, at least for me, is accepting who they are. And the best gifts are those that are freely given, not as an obligation.
And I am so very touched and feel so blessed for what I was given this year.
