The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

Good luck Poet.

Sooooo it's been a year. Wow. Last Mother's Day STBXW got into an argument with D11 about homework at 9 p.m. She then came down to yell at me about it. I was sick as a dog and would have been asleep, but I was still up finishing laundry. So when she started yelling at me I got defensive. I know now that's the WORST thing I can do. When the significant other is mad like that it's best to just let the anger dissipate and then deal with the issue later. When I got defensive everything just mushroomed and ... I packed some things and left.

Last night was fun. I went and watched a friend practice a comedy routine. He's going to try some open mic nights in Chicago.

I was tired but still I headed out -- and I had a good time. I met one of the TV reporters in town. They were having a birthday party so a bunch of them were there. She recognized me because our newspaper with this station where our reporters go on TV sometime.

So we talked for quite a while. She is exactly my type. Medium height -- she's actually shorter, about 5-2, brown eyes, brown hair. I have nothing against beautiful blondes like BobbiJo. It's just that when I was in college I went through all of the women that I'd dated and I noticed a trend, brown hair, brown eyed girls find me attractive. I pursued a lot of blondes but it was usually fruitless.

So basically I started just looking for the brown hair, brown eyed type and sure enough my college girlfriend was a 5-3, brown haired brown eyed girl. The serious girlfriend before STBXW was the same way and STBXW was a brown hair, brown eyed beauty.

Eventually the bar closed and I headed home.

Today I sent a Facebook friend request to her and she accepted.

I still don't know the "modern" rules of dating. I sent her a message saying last night was fun and wondering how often she can get out because of her career.

And of course I'm still married -- and I still don't know what is right and isn't right in my situation.

I had perhaps too much fun last night because I had zero energy today. I did make it to church. Then I took a nap. Then I went shopping. Then I laid down for a while. Then I took a long walk and lifted weights for a bit.

In this year I've made big deals of every little milestone or special day. Today, oh well. It means now I've been through a lot of things -- the holidays, the school stuff, etc. So there's not as much uncharted territory.

There is still a lot of pain coming. The actual D. Waking up officially single. STBXW eventually will find someone else -- I don't think she has yet, but I could be wrong. When the family house sells. I have to admit, I did get a little choked up on the walk. I must be the only person in the world without an Ipod. On walks or runs, it's just me and my thoughts.

For me, there's some exciting things ahead. Someone new. Moving someday from a townhouse to a house.

Couple other things. D11 called around 7:30 p.m. I took the girls to a small zoo the last weekend I had them. The zoo was having a contest to name a baby lama. D11 found out today that they picked her name. So she gets free tickets (they are only $5) and a picture with the lama.

It was nice to talk to her. We don't have long talks on the phone though. After that she went back to watching a movie.

The phone rang again around 8:50 p.m. I decided not to answer because likely it was STBXW since the girls should be asleep by then. So she sent me a text. STBXW wants to know if the girls can stay here Monday night until bedtime so she can stay late at work. She has to fire someone.

I waited a while before answering. This is cake-eating, but it means more time with the girls. I kind of have a rule of thumb on this. If she offers me more time so she can work I say yes. If I think it's a bogus offer so she can go out and party then I say no. Someday I may not care but I still do.

I have a financial class on Mondays, but I can skip it. I don't really want to see her though so I responded that I can skip the class, but why not just let the girls stay the night then. She hasn't responded.

One thing we haven't discussed is D7's conference tomorrow. It's at 3 p.m. I really don't want to go. I haven't decided. D7 is doing fine and it'd mean I won't have to see STBXW for -- I'm not sure when I'd have to see her again.

You know, I liked my line in my prior post.

The grass is greener where I stand.