Oh and one other thing... this past week in conversation with H, I told him that I forgive him. I forgive him for leaving and hurting me, and that i now understand he did it bc he needed to sort out his feelings and go through whatever journey it is in life that he is going through. I told him I understood that he truly feels like he is not in love with me and I've accepted it.
I did however say the one thing I will never forgive is that he didnt want to go to C and repair his feelings or want to do something now to work on our M.
I mentioned this to my mom and she told me that when she met w him last week, she also told him that my entire family, all bajilion members of my big italian family would forgive him and welcome him home with no judgement if he ever came back. She wanted him to know that so he can never think its a reason to not come back. and she was proud that i said what I did too.
I told H my family was happy he is going to be at the birth and everything else, and that my aunt cried and cousin said i still want to hug him when he comes out of teh room to tell us the baby is born, etc. and H was so happy and said thank you.
if nothing else, H will be comfortable being a daddy in my family.
i think this made H see that I accept what he did and would and could forgive him.
