OK, I need to understand this better... you go to church and OMW says what exactly?
What strategy is she used to put an end to this thing on her end?
The thing is, that SOMETHING is the leverage you need to get your wife to act her age. That YOU aren't acting just enables her to continue, so yes, you do need to do something.
How does OMW feel about you exposing? Have you talked with her about it? This will impact her. If she IS on your side right now and the two of you are sharing some useful information you don't want to just expose and not even give her a warning. OMW should know what you are doing.
IDEALLY the TWO of you would be working together as a team with the same objectives and focus... I know that's hard to do. I have seen it done on this forum and it worked out quite well.
I would need to know OMW and where her head is at to say more on that end...
You should put together exposure scripts for each type of audience differently... they won't all be the same
The exposure script you use for one of OM's friends won't be the same you would use for a church elder for example.
What are the church officials doing? Just hiding out I take it?
