I got images form the past where I would spent hours awake in bed, trying not to cough, cry or make any moves so that he wouldnt snap at me. It was during the "it's all your fault" phase, a phase where I felt terrorised and attacked for breathing. So this time said "fine, sleep in ano ther room or even another house, I dont give a sh!t".
Could he have been very stressed over work or something at that time? These images and triggers ... as someone suggested earlier maybe worth addressing in IC?
Originally Posted By: Kalni
I sent him an email saying I overreacted and that things seem to be so tightly connected to bad memories that I need his help to get over it. He never replied but called me later with a "noting happened" attitude.
Nice move! But I don't think the "nothing happened" attitude helps either. My son used to sleep near me (and sometimes still does)and his nose got badly blocked at night and tho' I did not snap at him, it does disturb my sleep and lack of sleep causes stress. My W used to read until late at night with the light on and it used to disturb me but she had the "don't give a [censored]" attitude which annoyed me even more. But if you handled this as if I came to you with this problem perhaps there would be no snapping at each other. Same thing with other problems. Next time when things are going well ask (don't demand) of him what can be done so your snoring and insomnia does not disturb him. Maybe when that happens one of you can sleep in another room or you can have some medicine handy. In M emotion often gets in the way. FG a long ago had these "no emotion" examples - like complaining to the McDonald's person that your fries were cold. At some point you could be solving these problems on the fly like you were customer service.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Thanks girls, I did. My kids are great. My H, although he was instructed by my son to getme a ring, didnt.
He asked me if I want to go to Swiss for a long weekend, with the kids. That would be first ever. On May 28-29. We'll see.
Last night we wtached "couples retreat". Not a godd movie. In the end Vince Vaughn says few things that made H go awkwrdaly silent. He talked about commitement and spending fun time with his wife. He promised his kids trips. This morning H called me to confirm I want to go.
Trying to get passports for the kids, if we make it on time, we are going.
Did my tax papers today. Threw away all teh receipts I kept from 2007-2008 for a possible CS case in court. Found some receipts like my kids' beds from May 2007 that he was with her. My heart breaks every single time I face the magnitute of what he has done to us. It's all in my head but ...it really isnt, it happened. Cant be undone
He missed 2,5 years of our lives. Sucks to be him.
