Well here I am now. Moved over from DBD

[g450]

Oh God! Why do I do this!?!

It's mothers day so I call her (I know, should not have).
She never answered. Called twice.

So I go over to her house to speak with her like an idiot and she is just coming home from somewhere. She has completely dyed her hair a different color and looks like another person.

End result is that I got emotional again and started pleading with her to go see a doctor and try to work on "us" or at least herself. WHY DO I DO THIS!?!

And once again she told me I needed to let go and that she was through with me and had no feelings for me what so ever.
Hurt like hell to hear those words once again. She was very nasty and cold towards me. Why do I have a hard time accepting this even when it's right in front of me. Her words cut to the bone yet I still keep applying band aids to the cuts and ignore them.

I had made a dvd copy of one of our home movies for he with our Son on it when he was a baby. I was going to give it to her for mothers day. I did NOT give it to her.

I told her to pull her head out of her butt and go see a doctor. To stop her long distance affair with the married guy before she destroyed another family / marriage besides our own. That did not go over well.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? When will I learn to just leave her alone? I know what I have to do but it's the doing part that I have trouble with and it is killing me.