The one thing I'm finding it incredibly hard to do is walking away in silence. If I leave like this, I'm sending the message that I'm leaving this angry, resentful, bitter, etc. The last thing my W heard from me was when I exposed to her.
Maybe that was her perception, or maybe it was just her spin for others. Even if you were angry, resentful and bitter, those feelings would be understandable under the circumstances. What makes you think that she would accurately perceive anything more you might say? And why does it matter?
I don't think those words should be the last words of my marriage. I can't live with that.
What were your last words?
I'm thinking if a letter would be ok. Not to explain my actions to her but to be honest about how I felt about what she did. And also, to make it 100% clear for her, that I'm moving on with my life. She needs to know I mean business.
Do you really think she doesn't know how you felt? You make clear that you are moving on, with your actions, not with words.
In the past, I've made the mistake of moving away from things in silence, thinking my silence would speak louder than words. It didn't.
Maybe in some situations, the silence leaves confusion. That isn't necessarily the case here though.
Originally Posted By: Kimmie Lee
I wouldn't bother rewarding her with a letter. It could(would) make you look weak and pursuing.
She has done despicable things and is still lying to everyone to make herself look good. So, set your family straight and do not allow her to do any more damage to you.
Originally Posted By: FormelyknownasF
this is interesting. Just out of curiosity, why a letter would be rewarding her? Is it letting her now that I still care even if the letter clearly states that i'm moving on with my life?
I don't know that she would find it rewarding, more likely annoying, and definitely kinda pathetic, that you would take the trouble to write after what she has done, when she has not even given you the courtesy of saying "I'm sorry".
It just hurts so much not being able to tell what you feel. It's like being in jail and not been able to give your side of the story. It's really tough. If I walk away like this, she'll never know how I felt. She may not care to hear, that's her problem.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't care to hear, so why try to communicate about your feelings with someone who doesn't care to hear it. Consider how you might feel to have a non-response to what you say.
Should that stop me from doing what I feel I need to do to get closure? Is she really going to have the last word on this?
Closure isn't an event, it's a process. I rarely involves both parties. You get your closure within your self, over time. I know it hurts, and I am sorry that it hurts and that she has treated you this way.
