Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

I do think you're smart to get some info on custody stuff. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me to have 50/50 custody when you're been the primary caregiver for son's entire life, but often divorce/custody laws in states don't make sense.

I'm glad you grin and fake it around S. I know how hard it is, really, I do. My H was/is classic "Disney Dad". They are on the go all the time when he has S. In the summer it's every park within a 60 mile radius, hiking, mini golf, etc. In the winter it's the arcade at the mall, indoor play places and anywhere else H can keep S entertained without much effort. Happy Meals for dinner and popcorn (yes, really!) for breakfast. Meanwhile I've singlehandedly dealt with all the times he's been sick, the night terrors, potty training, not going to the bathroom alone myself for 5 years, having to mow the lawn after S goes to bed with a baby monitor glued to my ear because it's the only time I can get it done...

I'm sorry S is still acting out. I'm sure it is 100% normal in this situation. Can you talk to S about him saying all that "dad is the best and I love him more" thing? I think I'd flat out tell my S that mom and dad both love him more than anything and we know he loves us bunches too, but saying you love mom more or dad more hurts the others' feelings. That it's ok to love us differently like you love how dad roughhouses with you and you love how mom snuggles you at night, but you don't have to pick one of us to love more.

Good for you on the eating more and smoking less. Eating is important! The smoking? As a "former" smoker, if it's getting you through the days, have at it. When people gave me [censored] for starting back up after the bomb, I told them it was either that or crack and being a drunk and the latter two would get my baby taken away, so I was going to smoke. LOL

I wish I knew the magic things to tell you to do, but I don't so I'll try to will some strength and peace across the continent to you.

Happy mother's day! You're a fab mom and even if H dosn't appreciate that, we do here!