I think you can also get more info out of her on how she's feeling. For example, in one of your posts, you said she had told you "she can't be dependent on you". Did you ask her what she meant by that? You have a lot of uncertainty about how she's feeling. Ask more questions. You probably will get a variety of answers, but getting her talking can help HER sort out some stuff too.
I think Glimmerman has some good advice here, Anychance. I think if my H had been striving to learn more about the ways I felt about things years ago, it would have gone a long way to bridge and prevent our disconnect. It would have made me feel that he believed my feelings and thoughts were valid and deserving of his understanding, whether he shared those feelings or not.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
