H had no choice but to now include the OW and SIL because I sent the detailed decription of what was going on to them as well. I purposely did that because I knew he was trying to show me as the reason he isn't seeing his kids more often, that I couldn't be rational and work out the business issues etc. And in my showing them what his response was, now he's trying to keep up the false persona he's created with both... If he is the loving, responsible father he's been telling them he is, then he'll have to step up and demonstrate that now because now they know the full issue about the house.
Was that controlling on my part? Yup... More than likely... However something told me to do it anyway... That the house issue was too important to just wait for his games...
I felt it was important to shine a reality light on all of them... Not the fantasy that things can wait for H to deal with them and that his time schedule is all that matters.
H has SIL believing that I am preventing him from seeing the kids more, that I was the cause of everything wrong in our M since I "refused" to get a job when our son was young, etc. And though I know I can't change anyone else's opinion of me and shouldn't care, I abhorr secrets of any kind (no surprise due to childhood) and think she should have all the info before deciding that I am the horrible person he says I am. SIL enables him because he's put himself as the complete victim in all this and me the perpetrator. She believes everything he says because there is nothing to show her otherwise and because hr is her brother. I understand that and don't intend to communicate with her once this house issue is resolved one way or another.
I've thrown out what my intentions are re: mortgage payments, gave them all a reality dose and left the action part up to H to do. I'm not communicating any further on it, but will start clearing out thr junk in my house in preparing to move if I have to.
It's up to H and a higher power now what will happen to my home, and if I'm meant to move then I am.
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
