Hi CW, the kid's relationship with their dad has been a concern of mine also. When my H first left he was very attentive to our D's, especially D11. He called her twice a day. 7 months in now and he doesn't call them at all except on the day he's coming to take them out to let them know what time he'll be here to pick them up. He takes the D's out once a week as a general rule and spends a few hours with them. He will respond (usually) if one of the kids have a question by either texting them or phone. S23 hasn't spoken to his dad since the day he left.
Since the kids are a little older I've let them figure out their relationship with their father. I just pray that if their dad ever wakes up there will be time to repair some of the damage to their relationships. I'm just trying to be the best I can be to help fill in the gaps in the mean time.
At first I resented and was mainly scared by being left "holding the bag". As this sitch has progressed I thank God that I'm not one who will have to deal with how I believe I would feel about what I'd done and the damage I had caused through my actions. It would kill me to wake up and realize that I had lost the respect of my children.
My D11 broke my heart the other day at school. She came to me crying because in her ELA class they had a discussion of what makes a house a home. She said Momma, "I just want my daddy back, not the daddy he is now, the daddy he used to be." I didn't say it to her, but I thought to myself, me too, sweetheart, me too.
