Completely Blindsided

[blind]

Moon: It's weird, I've never really seen myself as co-dependent. I've always said "I love you and I want you, but I don't NEED you". I have my own hobbies, interests and friends, and I actively pursue them all...

What I've done now instead is find some goals that we didn't necessarily share and have started pursing them.

My dancing is about to take a phenomenal leap forwards. I have some very serious goals and I am going to achieve them... no matter how unrealistic they seem - watch this space for more.

I'm even looking into finally getting some ink - I haven't noticed this on threads around here... these are things I've wanted for years. W likes the idea enough, but it's something very personal to me. Is this common for people in our sitch?

Detaching sounds like a very hard thing. I definitely understand the impact that cutting short/skipping calls could have... it's just hard to commit to. Not only is she my wife, she's my best friend. I'm finding I'm going out and seeing people a lot, but I keep wanting to share the experience with her.... I keep turning to say something that will make her giggle... only to remember that she's not there.

Actually being back here makes me feel almost like I'm waking up from a dream... like the last 10 years never happened, and I'm still the young man living with my parents. It's all very surreal.

And yeah... I want to be with someone who chooses me, not is talked into accepting me. The last few nights going out and about I've had a fair bit of attention... even being called "Bloody Gorgeous!" by a young lady. Nice for the self esteem, but not what I need right now.

I'll give the shorter calls a try.

Rabbit: I'm really happy for you that your H is back. I want to hold out hope that the same thing will happen to me, but I'm coming to the revelation to this is more than likely it.... and I have to start living for me, hoping that she's coming back won't do anything for me.

I've had a long look through the threads, spending a lot of my time lurking here rather than posting. I've not gone on to the Rocked/Ruled posts yet... I'll go and have a look at them soon.

Winter has hit Aus now, but at least it's warmer than an English Autumn. The sun helps a bit... as much as sun can in this type of sitch.