I got images form the past where I would spent hours awake in bed, trying not to cough, cry or make any moves so that he wouldnt snap at me. It was during the "it's all your fault" phase, a phase where I felt terrorised and attacked for breathing. So this time said "fine, sleep in ano ther room or even another house, I dont give a sh!t".
Could he have been very stressed over work or something at that time? These images and triggers ... as someone suggested earlier maybe worth addressing in IC?
Originally Posted By: Kalni
I sent him an email saying I overreacted and that things seem to be so tightly connected to bad memories that I need his help to get over it. He never replied but called me later with a "noting happened" attitude.
Nice move! But I don't think the "nothing happened" attitude helps either. My son used to sleep near me (and sometimes still does)and his nose got badly blocked at night and tho' I did not snap at him, it does disturb my sleep and lack of sleep causes stress. My W used to read until late at night with the light on and it used to disturb me but she had the "don't give a [censored]" attitude which annoyed me even more. But if you handled this as if I came to you with this problem perhaps there would be no snapping at each other. Same thing with other problems. Next time when things are going well ask (don't demand) of him what can be done so your snoring and insomnia does not disturb him. Maybe when that happens one of you can sleep in another room or you can have some medicine handy. In M emotion often gets in the way. FG a long ago had these "no emotion" examples - like complaining to the McDonald's person that your fries were cold. At some point you could be solving these problems on the fly like you were customer service.
