WAH Comes Back Home in the Middle of the Night

[holdingon]

Yes, Cathy, our sitches seem SO similar. I know that if I offered up an ultimatum right now it would give my H the excuse he needed to stay with her. He so desperately wants me to be an a@@ so that he will have an excuse and can blame me for his being with her. I know this. He has blamed me for everything so far. He is finally starting to be responsible for SOME of what he has done.

So, I agree with Ellie, if you pressure now, like he wants you to do and thinks you will do, I think that will be the end. I know it would be for my sitch.

A very good friend on this board gave me some very excellent advice this morning.

"He needs you to give him the security that he is looking for and instead satan is making you want to run. Your husband is crying out to you. Asking you to show him that dropping the OW and coming back to you isn't going to destroy him either. He loves you and he loves your children. He wants his family back, but satan keeps putting it into his head that if he risks going back to you and dumping the OW that he has a very good chance of losing everything."

I think this is the time that you and I need to DB more than ever, use this bb and our cars to vent. Calling very good friends that you know will support you in what you are doing (not tell you to dump him...).

I'm here for you too.