Lees, I feel for ya there, No possible way I'd want to remain friends with folks who just stood back as my relationship deteriorated. Don't answer if you aren't up to it, but were those witnesses/handler/photographer primarily your friends or hers? I'm 'friendly' with the woman I'm concerned about "helping" my wife, but I seriously doubt she's acting as a die hard advocate for holding it together. She is essentially, my wifes 'friend' who I am also on friendly terms with. I hope that makes sense.
I probably should read your thread to understand more about what you're going through. So much info here, wish I could be more helpful to some of you and less "arrogant and evil and unappreciative and selfish and blind and" . . . all that other crap folks like to pretend they have me pegged for. (sorry, but that does bug me a little . . ."all about me," and all) But I will read some of your other posts. And really . . . thanks for what ya posted. Much closer to what I was hoping people would post.
I've wanted to update my giving her the article about 'friends and advice', but she's popped in the last 2 times I was here, and had to cut it short. Too much time dealing with others attacks on my motives, I should know better I suppose.
As for my giving her the article a few days ago . . . I haven't mentioned it, neither has she. I did see her reading it again though, not sure if that's a good sign or not.
I did tell her last night that after thinking about it and "coming to grips" (I used those exact words) with what she said, that like it or not, I understood that if she wanted to back off, wasn't much I could do about it, and "if that's the way it is, it's the way it is," and I'd start working on getting on with my life. Said it kind of matter of factly, with just a hint of regret . . . like I was telling her I went to 'buy something and the store and it was out of stock,' is the best way I can think of to describe 'my attitude' on it.
This, I think anyway, is where the 'counterintuitive' thing actually comes into play. (As opposed to some folks here pretty much asserting that anything and everything that is "intuitive" is wrong. Which is "wrong" incidentally)
But I've digressed. Anyway, this did seem to rattle her a teeny bit. Today I mentioned I should probably think about getting my own bank account again. There was a long pause from her, and she concurred . . .though it seemed more like she was pretending to concur. Seems like a tiny good sign, but I know all this stuff can be a little "Step forward, step backward, step forward, step backward."
But, as it stands, I don't see where my giving her the article has hurt anything . . .though admittedly the result isn't necessarily gonna instantly manifest itself.
