After reading your last post, I'll give you my impression. Then I'll let you know about something I did with a note.
My impression is that your W read the note and MIGHT have have this thought (I say might because obviously I don't know). She might have thought "so he's saying I shouldn't be feeling the way I am", which is not empathy. Run that thought by your IC and see what he/she thinks.
I sent my W a note at the recommendation of my pastor. It was a brief note that simply AFFIRMED the way my W was feeling a couple of days after we had talked. I acknowledged the things she told me that hurt her and contributed to our sitch. I think I said I was sorry in the note one time. The perspective my pastor gave to me, and I agreed with, was to simply ACKNOWLEDGE that I was listening to her.
