BH, from my understanding, since I started getting my support payments through Child Support Services, they automatically increase it every now and then. That's as long as he doesn't get approved for his downward modification, which my lawyer doesn't think he has a shot in hell at getting.
So now after ex sends me a text message yesterday stating he can't stand all the hate and we need to call a truce, he is now refusing to bring the boys home tonight for Mother's Day tomorrow. Although this was not written in the divorce agreement, we had a mutual agreement over the last couple of years that I would have them for Mother's Day, and he would have them for Father's day.
He's claiming that because my father wouldn't let him in my house the other day when he came to pick the boys up, that all has gone out the window.
So if he doesn't bring them home, I will be sure to screw him over on Father's day.
Miss H, that is just the way to play it! Document it all and when he wants something, tell him this is the way he wanted it! Truce my foot! He is thinking he might get you to back off! I would turn the heat up even more, that is all these people understand, you can't reason with them.
I disagree. I think you have to take the high road and document that you are doing so. Otherwise, you are hurting yourself if this goes to court.
I am in the process of petitioning my ex to have mediation on a couple of issues. He played a similar game on Easter. He sent me an email on the Saturday before Easter informing me that he would not return the kids at the time we agreed because he was mad I supposedly didn't pack enough clothes for them over his spring break with them. (How do these idiots think they can ignore our visition agreements because of unrelated issues?!)
Anyway, I have his emails which show he agreed to a certain day and time and then did not follow it to "punish me". I am using this evidence to force mediation to explicitly specify exact times for each holiday. I have email showing that I have been more than generous allowing extra visitation times which makes me look good. If I was retaliating by not allowing visitation for him on some other day, I would look petty and would ruin my case.
I am also petitioning for mediation regarding my daughter's braces. He refuses to grant permission because he claims they are cosmetic and as he said in an email I "am too free spending" his money. He claims our daughter should wait for braces until she is an adult, when coincidentally he wouldn't have to pay. These emails along with letters from the dentist and orthodontist are going to be used to force mediation and probably the judge will eventually rule that she can get them and he has to pay. His little games make him look so immature that he will probably lose in court. Because the decree said he has to pay orthodontia costs, he is playing this little game and it is so frustrating. In this case, I don't even want his money; I just want a way to get my daughter braces.
MissH, my ex took me to court to get child support lowered right away too. He lost his job and got a much lower paying job and lied on his financial disclosures. The judge wouldn't hear my evidence that he had plenty of money to spend on frivolous items, was purposely underemployed, and could pay the support. He would only consider his new income level because of how bad the economy is. I understand how hard it is to move on when these little games they play suck us back in. We have to detach and not let it emotionally affect it the way it does.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
MissH remember that it is the kids you need to focus on
he wants to play games then let him
don't punish the kids to settle a score
the economy sucks right now
are there some jobs that you could do to help suppliment your income?
I know not getting support sucks (I am owed over $60,000 and counting) but it feels good to know that I can make it on my own. It isn't easy but it is do-able. Right now, I am working full-time, going to grad school full-time (online) and have an almost 1 year old. We are capable of a lot more than we think we are, we just need to put our minds to it
