All I have to say is what a f******* mess this is and it seems to have gotten worse.
H also asked me why I had sex with him while he was with ow and I said why did you? You were cheating on ow...H did look a little puzzled at this. I then said so it meant nothing to you, there were no feelings, that I could have been anybody, and H said no. H seemed a little confused at this point and off guard. I said well that's what you're saying. If you don't have feelings for me then the sex was nothing too. I said does OW know you've been having sex with me. H said no then it WOULD be over with ow! (so should I call ow...teeheeteehee).
H basically said all the things that every WA says, no feelings, I left because you didn't show affection, blah, blah.
H did ask if OW would quit doing stuff for him? Meaning H wanted to know my opinion on this. She's ambitious, ow does this and does that, I took offense at some of the stuff H said OW does--I guess I was just supposed to listen though. H said she does make his lunches, makes him meals, conversations--she must carry these because my H isn't a big talker--H said she did meet SOME of his needs. So I'm hearing that she can't meet them all. So there must be SOMETHING that I'm doing...wouldn't you think?
I told H I was different, I was different inside. That I thought I new H better now than I ever did and he wanted to know like what? I just gave him and example. I also told him he has a wall around him, and he agreed. I said that I didn't want to H back there if we were going to be yelling at each other, that finally our home is peaceful and I also don't want to go back to the way we were and that I wouldn't. I said I'm happy now and I don't want to lose that happiness again. Son and I are in a good spot now. H wanted to know what that meant, things are peacefull. I just validated that yes we fought a lot and I do not want that again.
This morning on my way in I was in pity mode, meaning I quit, I give him, let's D I'm sick of this--oh I was having this conversation with myself in my car, yelling at H. Telling him he was a loser and that I didn't want him back in my life, he'll never change.
We talked about H's previous marriages and he said his first marriage was happy at first, then got worse, because H was mean to #1, yelled at her and then she wanted to move back and D and couldn't be talked out of it. H said he would have went to counseling, etc. that H wanted the #1 marriage to work, but #1 was done. I said well it didn't just happen over night, it was building up in #1, just like it did with us. Then #2 went bad and the only reason #2 would work on M was if H moved back to Colorado and H wouldn't do that becuase S was here. I said #2 was just selfish.
I did say so you've never worked through things have you? When you leave an R when things are bad and then go into another one and then another one, you're not learning anything or working through any problems. You're going to keep having the same problems in your relationships. If you can work through them and get through them you can have a better R...at that point H had heard enough. I was being a little preachy.
He gave me on snipit of the fight with OW--OW told him if you leave I'm going bring the F***** bass boat over and dump it in your yard...I said do you mean she was going to give to you? Other than I don't know what else they fought about.
