Boy he sure likes being an a$$. Sorry he is still just as mean and spiteful as before. I was really hoping(dreaming?) that he would get nicer once he got what he wanted. Or maybe the reality is that he isn't happier now and has to blame you for that too! What a loser!!
Or maybe the reality is that he isn't happier now and has to blame you for that too!
Big surprise (NOT!) I doubt he has figured out why he's not really as happy as he had expected to be following the D. The WAS rarely ever figures that out for themselves. Like idiots, they just continue taking the same wrong paths that have failed to live up to their expectations as before, hoping for a positive outcome. No self-introspection, no soul-searching or post-analysis of just what they did to mess up their own lives. No growth. Just repeats of the same mistakes.
And so when they continue to fail to be satisfied, even after they've jettisoned their M, they go back and blame the LBS for their predicament. That's what your ex is doing, Karen. Passing blame. Ignore him.
Will they ever figure it out? Who knows? It's not likely given their current mentality.
Just focus on what you can actually have an effect upon or control, dear friend. Let your ex be his own problem.
Good week. Working on finding a replacement L, trying to refinance the car, and stage crew this week. I find myself feeling healthier and happier all the time. Life is good.
Play is over tomorrow, but we have two today. D10's coming with me, and S16 enjoying his alone time (although he's supposed to be doing homework).
I did email X back about D10's psych appt. Tuesday. He emails back: Glad you're changing your mind about medical appts. (Actually, I never said I wouldn't just I can't do the bi-weekly OT/speech this year like I did as a sahm. I have one day of sick leave and he has 10 years saved up!) Since he's been griping about me not doing my share, I offered to do all her psych appts. (4x year) or every other if he wanted. His reply was I will be defiantly attending all her psych appts.
I'm debating what to do about this. I really want to keep no contact and it's also annoying that X lies that D10 is perfect at his apt. (S16 says she acts the same at both houses though). So either I don't go to her appts. or maybe every other one (compromise b/w involvement and wanting to maintain NC with X and his constant anger.) Thoughts anyone???
Finally some good news in the mail!!! Old L filed a Motion to Withdraw based on the fact I didn't contact her (for one week after 2 years), and that I contacted another L. Our bond is broken. Apparently, X did not object. I wonder who was happier him or me about that? Just such a relief. I have to put up with X a bit in my life b/c of the kids; but that L, no such ties. Feels like a huge relief. Of course, my next project is refinancing the car--if possible, and then try to hire another L.
Play is over-time to catch up on sleep and laundry. So good thing. I keep getting happier as time passes, although I guess at some point that will end. I guess I was more unhappy than I realized looking back.
I asked X to have the kids on Sunday for Mother's Day. It's also the day S16 is set to be confirmed at the church. My friends have all told me; I'm a wuss, and I shouldn't have to tell him about that and leave it up to S16. But with his autism I feel that's unlikely. I'd like to take the high road in this and tell him.
I also have been thinking about D10's psych appts. every 3 months. I'm thinking I'll just go every other time, like I suggested in my email to X, so I'm keeping in touch, but will let him do the other appts. on his own. If X brings up again that D10 is fine at his house, all her problems just at mine, I am also going to tell the psych that S16 has told me several times that she acts the same at both houses. X is lying to the psych, and I hadn't wanted wanted to put S16 in the middle, but I think it's also important the psych hears the truth about D10. I don't understand why you would lie to therapists like X does...
Your X lying to the psych is only going to hurt D10, but he's apparently less worried about his D's well being than what he THINKS might make him look good. That's a shame, but not all that surprising given what we already know about him.
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I keep getting happier as time passes...
That's great. And as you said to me in my thread, detaching feels good. Or at least letting go frees us up from that which has dragged us down for so long (the WAS).
Had war of emails again with X this week. He sent several emails AGAIN over me not taking D10 to the biweekly OT/speech. I sent one explanation email and that was it. Prob. shouldn't have even done that.
Had to take S16 to get dress clothes and shoes for tomorrow's confirmation today. I asked X for an extra hour and he insisted on meeting at the usual noon. I managed to buy the dress clothes, tie, shoes, and a pair of jeans for S16 in about an hour! Amazing. I think I got a cardio workout doing that. So I get there 15 minutes early but S16 remembered he had to get his gym shorts, so we wound up 5 minutes late anyway. I had 2 pairs at my house, and 3 pairs at Xs but I guess they lost them or something.
Skank was there today walking around at the dropoff. I felt cool last time, but got angry again today. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't.
Took D10 to see the Wizard of Oz school play some of our friends were doing last night. Was really good and fun. Couldn't stop thinking about Kat most of the play...
Now you know how I live. It usually is black and white but then when a witch gets killed we go into full color!! Love "Over the Rainbow".
Sorry you still have to deal with him being a jerk. Karen, I honestly don't think he will change. He will just be miserable and try to make everyone else that way too. Don't let him rub off on you. We love our Sunshine just the way she is!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
S16 asked me to email his belief statement and psalm for tomorrow so I sent those to X. He writes back I should have already printed them for him and gone over them with him. Of course, I had already done that, but he left them at my house (we left the house early in a rush to get to the mall before it opened). So he says he's going to open email accounts for the kids b/c he says: I would prefer we limit our email exchanges to only those absolutely necessary. Is that too unbelievable!!!!!!
If your ex were not deliberately trying to get under your skin, it would be hard to deal with. But it is painfully obvious he is trying to get to you! Don't let him. As Kat says, keep your sunny disposition and ignore his nastiness, recognize it for what it really is.
On the other hand, as for dictating to you and lecturing you on the raising of the kids and leading them through spiritual and religious activities, your exH has no room to talk -- at all. (It might be un-Christian and uncharitable of me, but I'd be tempted to tell him to STFU. Hey, somebody needs to say it, although not you, of course. I wish someone would read him the riot act.)
I just wanted to say I know what your going through with in this, and you are entitled to ignore a former spouse if/when they should become abusive. Water off a duck's back is my motto. Some would call that "passive aggressive", but so what?
NC, I didn't think of that; is funny him giving me advice on that. Ok, I agree he tries pretty much non-stop to get under my skin. I still don't understand that. But I know I need to just not worry about it and let it go. Which I do most days...Thanks for your help and support!!!
Ok, I agree he tries pretty much non-stop to get under my skin. I still don't understand that. But I know I need to just not worry about it and let it go. Which I do most days...Thanks for your help and support!!!