help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

Yes my MIL had issues which impacted on her R with her father, her H and her son.She had a mental breakdown at the same age and lost her son as a result.She had real problem with men in general.I dont know the background unfortunately.
Our doc knows about H cdg and has done so since we got together but he never goes to doc(when he left infact he was quite unwell with chest inf and this is the first I have ever seen him unwell) so I dont think that will be possible.
He is a very sensitive man, prob his feminine side coming out.I did not help with the abandonment and threatened to ask him to leve a nos of times..it was very wrong but I thought it would kick in reality and help him help himself.I am ashamed.
The OW saw his weakness and pounced like a tiger..meeting all the needs I didnt but I was at breaking point..no excuse but I was.
She is evil pure evil,used my dad, a friend of ours, came to see where we lived, brought other people to show what he gave up (to be with her no doubt.)
The hold I think she may have scares me.She is like a drug dealer feeding a habit.She is saying she accepts him for who he is.I know she calls him by his fem name.
My spiritual healer says he is with her because he is scared of being alone, said ow isnt coping and drinking heavily because she can only cope with the sitch when she has had a drink.She said he will come home but I wont want him.
I am totally sure ow has pushed him to stay away from us.(he let us down a couple of times just after he left(I am sure she senses he loves his family having finished it a week before I found out,he never went to her when I sussed something was going on in April and believe he was obviously totally miserable when he first left).
I am terrified of rejection.I thought the girls would be a pull but they havent been says to his dad he knws hes problem and cant face us.