Hi Dumped, sorry you are here--a few things peaked my interest as I read through your thread.
I was here 6 years ago after getting the ILYNILY speach. I had a really hard time at first, as my personality is very laid back and easy going--I never cried, begged, pleaded--I was very "cool" from the beginning and patted myself on the back about that--DBing seemed "easy". I'm not by nature a "pursuer-type" and detaching isn't hard either.
Through really persisting I found out what was wrong--and it was because I was too much on the other side of the spectrum--I needed to be more interested in my H. (a 180 FOR ME) He thinks he is the cat's meow, don't ya know.lol. But I actually had to sit with him more in the evenings, call him more at work, get him to talk more--it was a 180 for me and it worked. Well, I'm back but it's almost because I became too much of a doormat. That's not the point though.
I read through your sitch looking for what your H says is wrong--and have you ever really pursued him and gotten him to tell you? It seems like you didn't really have "problems". But there has to be something--even if you don't cook or clean like dear old mom--what do you think he would say if you asked him why he did this?
Not that you can trust 100% all that they say--I did have to filter through a lot of weird stuff to get to the truth of his unhappiness. I thought I did it all right--we are financially responsible, I like sex, I like to cook, etc. I thought I was doing a really good job.
But I wasn't available to him--I didn't call him much at work (didn't want to bother him) But he LIKES to hear from me at work. He actually likes to be pursued I think--but it took a while to figure that out.