Dont get me wrong... if H had an awakening when the baby was born or afterwards, I would extend my arms and sing and dance from the rooftops! But i just feel like I would have more doubts? But that is really stupid, because at this stage in the game if he changed his mind today, wouldnt it be the same thing?
There is no pushing him out. He said he is not going anywhere! I just wish he would WAKE UP! So much for low expectations!
There is NO WAY TO DETACH!
Here is how I feel:
Wake up and start thinking about how I should rearrange furniture. Want to talk to H, as he is helping me and I like his help, but am shy about calling him.
think about color swatches he left me and want to talk to him about it.
Want to discuss baby names.
So what do I do? Call him every minute!!! H says he is availble and wants to help, etc.
Went home last night, and noticed he moved my shoe racks (to a better spot) and organized all of my shoes! Paint swatches for the room, picked out blinds for the window in the baby room.
Uhhhh...
Gatsby, I do have a list of what it will take for H to prove he wants back.
NM, I guess what I feel is not so much anger or hurt, as I know he "thinks" he doesnt love me. Its just sadness.
