Needin' support/advice during new phase of this!

[amg2]

I'm starting a new thread as I enter a new phase of this horrendous journey. I need to hear that I'm doing the right thing and stay "on my game" as Puppy said.

My H and I have been separated for 3 mos since he was caught having two phone/text EAs that he claims weren't physical. During these three months I've done a lot of DBing, and really I've had a life all along, even if sometimes too depressed to live it. But he has done basically nothing. I contact him, we talk. I invite him out, we go out. But he has not gone to counseling as I indicated was required for me to consider staying M to him and gives me basically no support. I've missed way too much work and drive my self into the ground going over cell records.

Last week I (pretty casually) asked him about some IM activity on his phone. To make a long story short he told a big twist of lies. I now think that all along he's stayed in contact with someone while we've been separated. I am no longer willing to talk to him or see him. I'm having my friend change the cell activity password so I can't look at it.

If he's not worrying about our M, then I don't need to worry about what he is or isn't doing, right? Please confirm this to me. I feel like it's right for me to protect myself from him now, focus only on me and not think about him. But it's hard and I also kind of feel like it's a new ballgame now that I'm pretty sure he's been in contact with someone all along.

All advice, comments appreciated. This board has been a lifesaver. Here's my original thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1988646

Me: 37
H: 38--Caught at 4th EA; Could me more; definite MLC
No kids
T: 20 M:13
Hoping I don't lose my mind here!