I think your wife is punishing you. Almost all of them do it; some can hold out and do it longer than others. She may or may not still make a move back towards your marriage, but the fact is that you have done the best you could, and everything you have done, you have done to try to save your marriage.
Your wife can't honestly say the same.
You knew going in that the "tough love" approach isn't guaranteed, but it's still the BEST chance people have of trying to save their marriage when there is infidelity involved, in my experience. Your wife may have deeper issues (like Geomom's husband currently) that say that NOTHING would have really worked right now, and that this is her journey.
As men, that's very hard for us to accept, because we are natural "fixers."
I do think there isn't any longer any reason to lie to protect her. Your family should know the truth.
