Thanks Being Me. My D phoned me because she trusts me and is looking for support for HER feelings. I try not to jump in and take STBX's side, even though I know D16 is infuriating with her "sorry, I forgot" antics. I just tried to present D with the other perspective while validating how lousy it feels to have Mom coming down on you. STBX personalizes things so much that she forgets that kids are kids. Yes, it's OK to be angry, but you walk away and have your tantrum in private, if you need to have one.She once told me "I need to learn to walk away when I'm like this" yet never does or if she does I don't know about it! You can't talk to her and suggest she do things differently or you just become the "enemy", case closed and the phone gets slammed in your ear. I remember once a few years ago D was asking me how to get along with Mom and I said "Your Mom is like a dog with a bone, if you try to pull the bone out of it's mouth it will fight you all the harder" My advice then was to say as little as possible, let her blow off steam and talk to her later when she's calmed down. Usually when she's calmed down she will have some remorse for her behaviour and is more willing to be reasonable. Well, the good thing is that I no longer have to be there to witness any of this sh!t!
