Hi guys, flo thanks for you kind words. Do NOT feel guilty. Feel 100% responsible for your 50% of your R but that's it. Make mental notes about things you should have done differently but dont forget that most of us got here because we were too attached to our Ss and failed to preserve the beauty within.
On the phone he said something about me not letting him sleep due to blocked sinuses (snoring). I got images form the past where I would spent hours awake in bed, trying not to cough, cry or make any moves so that he wouldnt snap at me. It was during the "it's all your fault" phase, a phase where I felt terrorised and attacked for breathing. So this time said "fine, sleep in ano ther room or even another house, I dont give a sh!t".
I sent him an email saying I overreacted and that things seem to be so tightly connected to bad memories that I need his help to get over it. He never replied but called me later with a "noting happened" attitude.
Today I asked him to go to his place and throw away her gifts. The schedule was tight and he said we'll do that but can we do it another day? I did not insist and didnt act hurt.
Then on the way to buy fish, I asked him about her. If he knew her sister and a few other details. He answered and I again made a point NOT to look hurt or mad at him. This is my last way to have him talk to me. I am going to be listening more and control my reactions. K
