Well, Whatis is in one of those awkward situations. D16 phoned me to say that "Mommy is acting horrible" and she told me the situation. Apparently, she forgot to make dinner last night although STBX called her and asked her to do so. When STBX got home she was furious and cancelled dinner. The night before she was angry because the kids haven't been doing their chores. So presently, STBX is in her room crying (and won't speak to me)because, due to the weather, the kids cancelled a shopping trip that had been scheduled with her. She hates having plans and then having them cancelled. She then launched into a speech on not being a taxi service that can just be cancelled like that. It's hard trying to be empathetic with either party! D16 has a habit of forgetting things and thinks you just say "sorry" and life should be fine. I reminded her that when she "forgets" things it may make Mom feel disrespected and unimportant. I said that when people live together they have to figure out ways to show respect to one another. I also told D that I understood how mom can feel like a freight train coming at you and it just keeps on coming until she cools down. But, I also understand that when the child forgets to do the things she's been asked to do e.g.'s cook dinner, bring in the mail,chores etc it becomes infuriating. Of course, STBX then has to fly into a tantrum and start taking verbal vengeance which is not OK either. But, I also think that D is old enough that she needs to work these things out with her Mom, I can't do it for her. So, I asked D16 to think of ways that might make this better between her and mom right now. She decided that giving mom her space might be wise. I asked D if I could speak to Mom because we're going out for dinner tomorrow for Mother's Day and I wanted to make the arrangements. I also thought it would give STBX a chance to vent which can help but she wouldn't speak to me. Oh well, I tried. I guess I did OK.
