BD, hard work being in contact with the WH so much! It would be nearly impossible to detach that way even if you weren't pregnant.
He's an interesting guy, really. I tend to think, and I don't have any idea so don't buy into it too much, but that he really just likes to have you in his life. Yes, he says right now that you can't be forever. But if you could find some peace with what he can give you right now, it might be easier to navigate these next few months. Lowwwww expectations. Maybe even write out what you will NOT expect to help you get a vision of what to expect!
You actually have kind of a long time before the birth. I know it's calendar-wise not long, but it is pretty long to be dealing with WH stuff. Maybe you will find a lull in 3 or 4 weeks.
It seems that you don't want him to "come back" to you after the baby because you don't trust that he's coming back for YOU. Is that what I understood? That's why I think it's soooo important that you have criteria now of what it will take for him to prove it to you.
For me, I've got: 1) He says he wants to try to make it work. 2) A couple of weeks at least of just getting used to each other, hanging out, no R talks, etc. This will help establish a little foundation before the hard work. 3) Marital counseling like whoa. It will be really hard. I'm talking 6-8 months of counseling while we live in separate places, deal with issues, and have dates, if possible. And then 4) Before we live together again, I want a recommitment ceremony. With self-written vows. And people in attendance who knew about our sitch.
And at some point in there, I'd like apologies/appeal for a second chance to family.
If WH can do all of those things, would that be enough to prove to you that it was about you?
