Hi Cl, all sounds good, if a long time coming-lol. I really would like to see you stepping up the pace alittle. Great that your dance teacher made that comment about being unhibited,take that as a huge compliment from her and that has to have such a positive affect on your dancing. I think I told you once to feel the dance and worry less about being step perfect.
Now this may just be your style of writing but to me it all sounds a bit clinical, I would really love to see and feel some love for your wife,yes I know all she has done but overtime I have come to have some sympathy for her or should that be empathy.
You have been hit by so much of late and yet you have remained cool and steadfast,I guess it is a fine line to fix /save the marriage in an unemotional state whilst still feeling all those emotions associated with it.
I took swimming lessons at 50, I am very good at floating and treading water but the actual swimming I still find really hard work,something to do with less than flexible ankles. I am not suprised you are hesitant because it requires trust/ faith if you like that the water will hold you up, not a rational assumption and I found I needed to put my head further back in the water than I liked but was essential to get that line needed to float. Good luck with it. Do you find learning all these new skills freeing, I did.
Hope I am not pushing you too hard, I just so want to see you break out of the self presevation shell you wear like a coat of armour and just BE. Live life as though today is all there is, you must know that quote "dance like no one is watching".., not to the extreme of being irresponsible. I spent years having to do this on certain days xyz on others that it prevented me from being spontanious, my kids used to joke mum can do spontanious as long as you give her 3 weeks notice. Well I changed, I go with the flow and care less what people think of me and somehow my world didn't fall apart,my kids survived and my pets and plants didn't die.My home is clean and tidy although somedays you can't eat your dinner of the floor-lol.I have time to laugh and smell the roses,the joy and beauty of all the small things. The things I took for granted and missed whilst trying to be Miss perfect and juggling too many balls. I am sending you great vibes for the dance and for you to loosen your grip, drop a few balls and laugh at yourself and life .Hugs.
