Completely Blindsided

[fullmoon]

Totally agree with LR.
I would even miss a call or two to make her wonder where you might be.

B, I know what you mean about DB being a "get over it" method.
In one way it is, but that's not the main concept I think?
I took it as "don't be codependent, be YOU, you should be ok w or w/o your S, it's ok to want someone but not NEED".
I mean, a spouse is like a spice in cooking, they are not the food itself. Food (life) can be more delicious if we have them but we can still cook nice food w/o... if you know what I mean?

We get so used to having our S with us, with M it feels as if our R is sealed and concrete... but really it's not isn't it, there is no guarantee.

When I was away from my home country, I glorified it and in my head it was nicer than it actually is, partly because I thought I will never be able to come home to settle.
But when I realized that I actually have a choice to be wherever, it quickly became boring... same old, same old. It took me a good 2 months of almost NC to feel this way.
It requires a lot of energy to live in a foreign country and you need be emotionally stable, otherwise it's a bit much to even think about.

I don't think you've totally lost her if she's calling you every week? It seems more like she's checking if you are still hanging around for her. If you confirm her, she'll know she's still got you and won't miss you.

It's so hard to detach isn't it... my heart was literally skipping a beat or two so often!
I calmed down a bit when I started reading self-help books on relationships and the difference between men&women. I read them for myself, to have a better R with anyone.
Also reading as many stitches as possible here helped me detach more, how they unfold might be very different but there is a strong similarity and it's a great insight into how our minds work, no matter what stages of M.

I'm sure there are many things you looked forward to once you're back in Oz? How about entering into City2Surf marathon if that's where you are?

B, you want to be w someone who chooses to be w you, not "forced". whether it's going to be her or not we'll see...
Also, as the vets say, silently give yourself a time frame. For now I'm giving mine 12 months... going along with Oz M law.

I hope tomorrow will be a nice day, sending you positive waves fr across the globe!

((()))