I felt like you. When H wasn't in contact I was happily detached but if he called he easily sucked me back in. Until now.
Last week I had a very odd 48 hours when I felt like kicking my marriage into touch and finding lots of things I wanted to do, some hobbies I had before we had the children.
Since then I have been totally detached and he has been here 4 times this week! It is almost like a water shed when you realise you can no longer go on being bounced around.
I am now calm and have no anxiety. I don't think of him often and even then it is whether he has arranged something for the kids. I know he is with OW but can't do anything about it. I also think he notices a change in me. I am always positive, friendly etc but this last week I am not only positive but relaxed and content. There is a strength about me I never had before.
Maybe you are now at this crossroads when your inner self is saying time to detach properly to wait. I haven't gone dim because of the children but I have definately detached and love him from afar.
