Not sure which way to go anymore

[Abbey]

*hugs*

Each of us has to find a way to try to limit the amount of pain we end up feeling because of what our spouses have done.

I understand what you say about: "I just want my husband back".

I hear you.

I guess the only thing I can suggest at this point is visualize yourself as only leaving the door opened an inch to him. It's up to him now if he nudges it open.

Honestly Mystik,... that sham of a "relationship" with the OW will NOT last. Will you want him once it's all said and done. Who knows.

Yes, he has every right to get a fry pan across the head repeatedly for what he's done to you and your family. Your life *is* the same in that... the relationship with the OW isn't going to last. Time and... god love ya... patience will be your best friend in this.

And yep... sleep... the escape from it all. Been there. Still working out the meds a year later to stop the mid day afternoon naps. Limit yourself... and as much as you probably will not want to hear this... be strict with yourself too. Force yourself to find something... something that is yours and yours alone.

Memories will jump at you from out of nowhere... no cure for that unfortunately. My strangest one was sitting at a red light... and my mind flashed back to a holiday in the Carib... where we were golfing. One had nothing to do with the other... the mind is a strange thing.

The answers...don't know if you'll ever get them. Even if you get back together... their shame precludes them and it will be hard for you to get those answers.

My question is... can you be that "friend" he comes back to for those things like saying he's jealous etc? It's one of the hardest thing you'll attempt to do. Accept that "challenge" with both eyes wide opened.... it'll hurt like hell, it'll make you want to scream... at him WHHHHHHHHHHHY?!?

Your task unfortunately is patience and playing the waiting game against the OW. (That's how I viewed it, at least). I knew I could win it, if I found a way to outlast/outwait/outsmart and outlove "him". You don't let yourself be used,... you just show a little bit of your soft side when he tells you things like he's jealous etc. Inch by inch. Do NOT be tempted to go in for the kill... she'll do that for you and push him away. You have to play this like an expert chess player. Being strong is something that comes with this... trying to get your husband back... is about playing it smart and cunning right now.

Why are you holding on. You still love him. When you stop holding on... you won't have to ask anymore.

*hugs*
Abbey