Wow, Gatsby. It really does sound like pregnancy could be the legitimate trigger for your H's freak out. This means you have a really good chance of getting your relationship back once he "adjusts" to the pregnancy. Yes, he will need to adjust to her but he will fall in love! It will help if he is there at the birth but the birth is not necessary for that to happen.

But what about his mental state- the things you mentioned about him being suicidal-what in the world? Has he been before?

And 3 years ago...what was happening in his life when he started getting resentful of his mom? Did his mom's life change at that time?

me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004