2 weeks left to DB

[gatsby11]

Hey P,

I agree with your three NOs. Acting friendly? It's really hard to say. What about this description: polite smiles when appropriate, open eyes (not overly friendly, not angry), tone of voice that follows the convo-- solid when discussing serious things, light a few times if you're having small talk.

I don't know, but it's probably what I would try to do!

(I wouldn't say you don't want the M if you actually do.)

Thanks for the questions. I'll answer them here instead of my thread for now!

So. We've been together for 12 years. When I married him I specifically noticed that he had a good R with his mom, which I've always heard is good. About 3 years ago or so he started to be really resentful of his mom. I was like "red flag" but since she and I were so different (she's really smothering), I thought I was okay. For a while now (not sure how long) his mom would describe his birth to him around his birthday and he'd get pissed off. When she left, he'd make fun of the way she talked about it. I thought it was funny. I don't think she should have talked about his birth so much. (And breastfeeding and his infancy in general.)

I started talking seriously about having kids starting around Jan 2009. In retrospect, I see that he basically avoided what I was talking about. Finally in July I sat him down to talk seriously about it. He agreed that we should start trying in December. (He had always talked about kids in our M as older kids but he definitely gave me the impression that he wanted them, even though the initial baby stuff would not be his favorite.)

Then, in September, I got paranoid that I was infertile. So I stopped birth control. I TRULY did not think that we would get pregnant. We only had sex once when I was off the pill and the next time I told him I was off and that maybe we should have a back-up form. I didn't think I could have gotten pregnant from that one time, but I did.

No, we didn't have sex after that again. I tried to talk about it, and he seemed really apologetic. I figured that he couldn't handle the act that created the pregnancy. But that was when he started just getting repulsed by me in general. I noticed, so I started changing with doors closed and stuff like that. I regret not believing that serious problems were happening. I was definitely ignoring.

At Christmas his mom gave him a gift. It turned out to be a baby toy. He was soooo angry. He practically threw the gift toward me and said that this was "my" gift. I didn't think much of it. I was just like "mental note: he's still having a lot of difficulty with this baby idea!" He tried to cover his anger with some humor and then was just irritated for the rest of the night.

And then around Jan 14 he used the words "Having a baby is not me. If you weren't pregnant, this wouldn't be happening."

As I said before, later that changed to he hasn't wanted to be with me in years, blah blah.

K, I'm going to copy and paste this part into my thread so if anyone wants to respond, go there!