A very Toxic situation, but I need to repair this

[knightinneed]

Ok here is my sitch, i am going to hit the high points and try to summarize this thing as best as I can.

- W and I married 1 year together 2 years total
- Red flags were there before marriage - with her being destructive
- Mutual verbal abuse and jealousy likely caused by my snooping which was seen as projecting cheating or wanting to cheat on my part
- Arguments over her facebook usage, male friends (no cheating), my smoking, child support on previous child which she felt was holding us back financially
- She claims I am indecisive, immature, basically wasnt being a true Man
- She became verbally abusive as well and destructive, sometimes hitting me and biting
- I made the mistake of running off to the casino after 2 fights and staying till the early AM and losing money : ( W believed I was cheating which I was not

- I do believe W has serious anger issues, and myself to some degree
- We became toxic, but when it wasnt it was very good.

- CPS became involved because my sister basically lied to the police about my daughter getting nursemaid elbow - she is an infant and had it 2 times but the doctors advised it was normal

- My sister made a false claim after i called the police on W for hitting - biting me and tearing up my stuff in the house
- My wife never abused our DD

- I called police to teach her lesson about being physically abusive which backfired when my sister came over

- Wife filed a EPO against me in anger, but this was dropped in court by judge - afterwards W came home and we were able to mellow things out and calm down and begin marriage counseling

-Things finally mellowed for a bit, but after all the previous issues regarding the Casino trips, my weight gain (gained 35 lbs), W stopped being intimate, I believe the weight gain and my low self esteem killed her attraction in addition to her thinking I cheated


-With No sex, things were still ok i suppose. We slept in same bed, and spent all our time together pretty normally.


- CPS rose its ugly head, and investigated us hard due to the domestic Violence claims and EPO stuff, they centered in on DD's nursemaid elbow issue which is BS because no ever was abusive to DD

- W freaked out about DD being taken away, and became very mean and cold to me blaming me and my sister for everything.

- After CPS hearing W went hysterical and they advised for her to move out of the family home for a month with DD. In court they added No contact between us

- W's car broke down right after the hearing and she came back to our house tried to take my car. W became hysterical and bit me again after us arguing, and me not letting her leave with it

- W was arrested for assault and went to jail - she said that any chance of reconcilliation ended after this day (she was in anger)

This caused DD to be put in foster care which My sister is stepping up to be guardian




I have had no contact with W but miss her immensely, due to the courts she had to leave the home. I know she is blaming me for this all and her friend said she wants a divorce definatley.

I many ways i cant blame her due to all the mistakes made in this relationship. But I do recognize the error of my ways and hers, and I making changes with counseling, anti-depressants, losing weight to get back to the weight I was at when we met, being more of a man, rather then a whiney, complaining spouse who could not deal with her hysterical behavior.

I think had I been more calm and cool, rather then fighting with her things would not be as they would. My W had become very nasty with me with verbal abuse, typical WAW behavior.

I talked to my Ws best friend a couple of times, and now she said W is much more calm but definitely wants a Divorce. She also said W probably needed to be put in jail to learn consequences for her actions.

When W is calm she is sweet as can be honestly and a great mom and wife. Its just she is unable to handle stress sometimes and can snap, she could be bi-polar.

Ws friend said that though she is saying divorce, it could be she is still mad and has not filed it yet.

I am in IC and seeking help for anger management and communication issues, I am not drinking or doing drugs, and have religion in my life again and have been praying for reunification of my family.


We go to court again on the 20th in which i suspect guardianship to my sister, though Ws friend said W believes she will get DD back. I told W's friend I wanted at least joint custody of DD, but i may go for full custody if we are unable to work through our issues as a family, because if W does not get help, i do not feel she deserves full custody.

I am struggling hard without DD and Wife, and it is killing me.

I just would like some input from you guys on how to handle this situation, and would DB apply after no contact is lifted?

If gucci, puppy, robx, coach could offer some insight here i would really appreciate it.