Food: Look in the bagged (not boxed) frozen food section. You'll find mixed vegetables suitable for adding to a main course. You can also find several different things that can be a meal-in-a-bag if you want (they generally include pasta or rice, chicken or seafood, and some mix of vegetables). Contessa, Birdseye, and others make similar, though slightly different, combos. Try some and keep the ones you and DD like. You can stock up when they're cheap and they stay good in the freezer. Just take it easy on the sauces they include. Most are heavy on the bad stuff, so just use a little bit to add some flavor (or use your own) if you're trying to eat healthy.
Getting Through To Her: Give it up. Please. It's not doing her any good and it's not doing you any good either. I understand the desire to try and force her to recognize what she's doing to those around her, but you can't...no one can. It's a revelation that will come in time, but she will have to discover it on her own. You have an agenda (not saying it's a bad one, but you do have one) and that makes everything you say suspicious. Remember, the WAS is a great liar...and they know it. As a result, they don't trust anything anyone says (they know how easy it is to lie and that anyone is capable of doing so)!
Where Are You Going: It seems that you're reaching the point where you need to just stop for a bit and decide what your focus and goal is at this time. You spend a lot of time asking what you should say, but it's not possible to answer that unless you know what you want to accomplish. If you can answer that, you don't really need us to tell you what to say or what to do. You'll try them and, I would hope, if they didn't move you closer to that goal, you'd try saying or doing something different.
To me, you seem conflicted as to what your primary goal is. Are you most interested in making yourself feel better? Are you most interested in cultivating a possible reconciliation? Are you most interested in getting on with the D? Are you most interested in avoiding a court battle? Are you most interested in protecting yourself?
At one point or another, you've seemed to lean to each of these (and there may be other contenders for the top spot I don't know about). While some of the things you do and say can support more than one of these objectives, there will be (perhaps many) cases where moving toward one particular goal will, by definition, move you away from another. That's where having a top priority comes in. Every interaction should be measured against that top priority with respect to whether it moves you closer to achieving it or further away.
You're heading into the heart of the valley. Hang on. You'll make it (we all do...even if sometimes it seems like we won't).
