What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[newmama]

Are you having ridiculous dreams about accidents involving your baby? I did and they lasted for the first several months after he was born. Luckily I learned it was normal...here are some examples of FEARS:

-afraid I would drop him
-afraid he would grab a knife I had laying around[duh-never would that happen]
-afraid I would trip on the stairs and he would go flying
-afraid I would fall asleep while nursing him and smother him
-afraid I would step on him accidentally and smash his head
-afraid I would leave him in the shopping cart and drive away, because I was so used to not having a baby
-afraid I would sleep through his cries (duh- living alone at night with just me and him)
-afraid I would spill hot coffee on him (duh- this is avoidable!)

and to this day- afraid I would lock him in the car--


I have a system down to ensure this. I have locked my keys in my car about 5 times in the last 8 years so it really scares me. What I do is unlock all the doors first, then make sure my keys are on me. I walk around and get S out. Then I get the diaper bag and lock the doors. When putting him back, I make sure all the doors are unlocked and then I toss my keys in the driver's seat (because my hands are full and I need some place to put the keys), leaving his door open until I double check that all the doors are unlocked. When this is done, I close his door and then get into the driver's seat and go. Of course I could just leave my keys sticking out in the car door but there are so many habits to undo that this complicated OCD system seems to work for me!

I hope I didn't scare you- I was trying to point out all the little worries. And I only dropped S once in real life- he was in his bouncer and I was moving his bouncer to the other room. I lifted it off the floor about 5 inches and he started to fall out, but he bent his knees so he just kind of kneeled. I caught him in time! I never told WH that one!