Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[cat03]

I see now where you are coming from... I'm sorry that you are int he worst/thick of it, hope you got good legal advice and that negotiations didn't screw up your finances...too much.

It still bothers me to no end that I was the way that I was. And it has cost me dearly. Given that, what else could I have done, after the fact? I've had true remorse, I repented, I shouldered what I had done, I apologized profusely, I tried to make amends and atone, I asked for forgiveness...and I changed.

hmmm... i think I was on blame mode for about a year and a half... then I had to make myself remember that it wasnt' just me, there were too many factors why things went they way they were, that no matter how many times I'd torture myself trying to pin-point what happened/where/why it was just not going to make sense and fit in a neat box. What I did end up telling myself is that I did fight for my M, I did change, I asked for forgiveness, I gave us a fresh start and we had a great chance at working things out...but he wasn't interested.

So, even though the blame game will continue to play in your head try to cut it short telling yourself that you gave it your all, as someone put it here 'it might be too late but damn if it's going to be too little'... you came around and did your damnest, and that's what counts in the end. IT is easy to look back and see what we should've done, but you did the best with the knowledge you had then.

It will get better, I promise. Such a shame the kids are getting hurt in the process, jeez, that woman is selfish!... I took my kids to counseling when things were going bad, is that a posibility? it did them a world of good. My teacher told us one day that if your kids don't say you are mean then you are not doing a good job...so when when my son calls me mean when I dont
let him do something I dont' think is right I just say 'that's ok, it's my job' and don't get hurt about it anymore.

Best of luck with the paperwork!