OK I have not done all that reading. I am trying hard to digest the fist pages.
It is unbelieveable. I live with my H. I sometimes wish I did not. Tonight, he told me that he has been "keeping notes" on me for over 4 years! he has also secretly voice recorded me in the past- trust is not important to him at all I think.
In the last few weeks I have been called a liar, dishonest, evil and he insinuated that I had an "inappropriate relationship" in the past. (HE had the EA, not me)
He also tells me frequently to "pull my head out of my ass."
I do not know how long I can put up with this. I understand detachment. I get it. But every time it happens It tears me down just a little bit more.
He says he loves me and wants the marriage, but I think he has already decided to go, and these behavioral attacks are just trying to run me off.
He does not act like someone who wants a marriage, I am confused and saddened. Tonight he also rationalized his past antics AGAIN. He apologises but says "but" and gives 500 reasons why heacted the way he did.
Makes the apology useless, IMHO.
I have been polite and resisting angry outbursts at all costs. Really I wish he would go away sometimes, I think at least I would have peace.
