im not so good at this detaching stuff! Maybe its just extra hard bc H is really coming on strong with the "i'm the dad" and "friend" thing he's trying out.
i dont understand why all the sudden he is trying to be nice? Wants to take the car to get maintenance, help pay some of my bills (already pays mortgage), came over today while at work and started to clear out babies room and declutter some old stuff in the basement we talked about for so long now, left paint swatches for the babies room, and says he is helping out whether i like it or not.
Does this make him feel like a father?? I also got the "I love you but not in the way you want me too!"
After having read so much over the past few months over the stages of love/marriage, real deal with ILYBINILWY, and separation, I find that this is a poor excuse for a person to just walk out! i dont buy it! Sorry, I am not a good DBer... and frankly today I didnt care.
I told him after the baby comes, things can never be the same, i would never trust him if he ever had a change of heart. I would always think it was for the baby, and for his own selfish needs. he gets agitated and says "you know how I feel" but also says "you never know what's going to happen", "I dont want to get remarried", "I dont think about dating", blah blah BLAH BLAH!
My entire extended family is hoping H comes to his senses when baby is born... to be honest, I dont want it to happen that way. I also dont think it will hit him. I told him that is the biggest reason why I wouldnt want him at the delivery.
We bicker over stupid things. and then he'll send a text of something he is or wants to do to help me.
Its as if he just realized i am having a baby!
And yet, some moments are so real and tender and sincere (so i think). H did feel the baby kick. His whole face lit up. But H has completely separated me from the baby. Doesnt see how we are linked... his love for me verses his love for the baby.
