"recently we physically separated and neither of us have made any effort to contact the other."
This does not mean that "this" forum is the right place for you. You are a newcomer. You will find that that forum get the most "traffic". Some of us wander around some.. but mostly you will find that the "vets" tend to focus on a group where they can maximize their time. Don't take it as we don't care.
"is this normal?"
Yes.. and No.
"i've only recently made peace with myself that it's out of my control. the only thing i've done is be happy with what i have and control only the parts of my life i have control over."
This is good.
"i've started seeing IC again."
Make sure the IC is working with you.. basically following your ideals. I had a mentor.. not really a C. Just someone I could go yell at.. and he gave me his perspective.
"found a financial planner to help me make sure my finances are in order for me to live by myself for the rest of my life."
Good.
"i worry about H we didn't part on hostile ground"
Any way you part.. places you on hostile ground. You worrying about him is very normal. And to a point healthy.
"i thought we parted cordially but there was one incident where he on purposely avoided me."
I would need to know more about the situation to really give you a solid take on it. For future reference these would be the times it becomes really important for you to "shine".
"i have made some 180s and i so wish he could see the changes in me. i've never been more proud of the way i look."
At the end of the day.. it does not matter if he see's it. You keep doing it. One day.. he will run into someone and they will say.. "Have you seen "Good Girl".. Wow."
"he is also very bitter about the "small price" he is paying. i fear that this is going to make him hate me and he will never get passed this."
He suggested it. Does that not make him just like you? You both had "no idea" what you were doing. Now you are both "screwed".
"i know she had a role in convincing h to d me."
Most likely because of the "info" he was feeding her.
"it could be too early to tell?"
Yes.
"i found it a bit discouraging that on other threads, there were posters who seemed like they were picking fights with the veterans and yet, the veterans continued to respond."
This is normal. We all have our nit picky issues!
"whereas, i'm here taking your advice and needing support but nobody is giving me a chance."
It is not that "we" are not giving you a chance. In posting to someone.. you have to find a common bond.. or something that peaks your interest. Sometimes this takes a while. Sometimes you just have to journal it out and then.. bam.. someone shows up. Or you can wave your "hands" around.. scream and holla. And bam.. I show up.
So... off we go.
"sometimes i wish there was an OW."
Are you sure about that? Cause it may come up later. Is this a deal breaker for you?
"my biggest hurdle is the co-dependency between h's mom and h."
Why? Why does this matter? Did it effect you while you were "happily married"? If so.. how?
"i saw my h's priority change throughout our m. i went from 1st to 8th on his priority list."
Expanding on this.. I was told "You become what you Judge". If you saw it happening what did you do to "stop" it? Flip in your mind a second and from "his" perspective explain to me why you moved down the list.
"leave me with nothing and i would be fine."
This is important.. hold onto that thought!
"but because i lost the most valuable thing to me - my best friend."
How well did you and this BFF communicate?
"i have no received a penny in support payments yet and i manage to do it on my own."
This concerns me some.
Do you have D papers signed and ready to go? Do you live in a state that has a "forced separation" time?
"soon to be "the good girl"
Good.. cause your name is kinda weird. It has some weird sexual overtones in it. For me at least. But.. then again.. I am weird.
Answer the question's..
And..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
